Head Covering

I've been covering my head for about seven months now. I figured it was time to expose my thoughts on the subject.

As I was reading through the letters in the New Testament, 1 Corinthians chapter eleven stopped me. It made me pause. I've always been told that head covering was just a cultural thing of new testament times so we don't have to follow that tradition anymore. But that's not what I read. I read that is was during prayer or prophecy in honor, with authority, and because of the order of creation. I cover my head. I don't judge those who don't. Afterall, it says "Judge for yourselves: is it proper for a woman to pray to God with her head uncovered?" It seems to be a personal conviction. And trust me, I've done my homework. I've talked to a pastor, and read a number of commentaries, and a few writings on the subject.

But I wish that people wouldn't judge me.

I'm a stumbling block.

I'm the weaker Christian.

I'm crazy.

I'm extreme.

I'm part of an ultra-conservative cult.

I've lost it.

I've gone off the deep end.

I need counseling.

I'm legalistic.

I wish that people wouldn't mock me.

The man who loudly told the woman walking into church with him, "WHAT is that THING on her HEAD????"

The girl who told me it was hypocritical to cover my head, and yet wear jewelry.

All the comments from so many people who have said, "Nice head piece!" with overwhelming sarcasm.

I cover my head in obedience; in love; in submission; in honor; in modesty. I don't cover all the time because I don't want it ever to become legalistic. I cover at church, Bible study, and small group. If it slips off, or gets hot, I take it off. It's a symbol; not a rule. Sometimes I wear it around the house, to work, or when I go out running errands. It's such a good reminder of my role as a woman and where my heart should be. A symbol to me. I like wearing it.

And I've come to think that it's beautiful too. I've used hats, scarves, bandana's, Russian style scarves, and hand sewn coverings. When I first started covering, nothing about wearing one made me feel beautiful. In fact, I didn't feel pretty at all. I alway pull my hair back out of my face with it, and I personally feel prettier with my hair down around my face. And I'm a hair stylist so of course I feel prettier when I've used products and a blowdryer and my hair looks nice, instead of being hidden under the fabric. But it is flowing and feminine. Beautiful. A beautiful place of the heart.

I've drawn closer to God's heart through my obedience in covering. I know Him better. I'm aware of His presence more often. I'm more convicted of sin, and I'm more prone to have a better attitude and a soft heart when I'm wearing one.

Head covering is a blessing.

Do I really love God?

How much do I really love God? Really love Him?

What would characterize people's lives if they loved God - really loved God - a whole lot? They would love other people, making time and space for them, and giving them energy. They would spend time with Jesus, soaking in His Word, and hiding it in their hearts. They would enjoy conversation with Him in prayer. They would be so wrapped up in Jesus that nothing else would come out of their mouths except what was good and pleasing to Him. They would obey His commands, and believe that what God commands in the Bible is for us to live by today as well. They would follow His specific call on their lives, submitting to Him as Lord.

I'm not sure I really love God. I spend my time and energy running around crossing off tasks on my list, and hurrying through my busy schedule. I don't put real energy into loving people. I"m so tired with the rest of my hectic life that I just don't have any energy left to give even if I want to. Time with God is hurried. I give Him my leftover time instead of my first time. While memorizing scripture use to be a daily part of my life, now I push it aside and make it wait till tomorrow. My prayer time is passionless. My attitude is ugly. My desires are selfish. My obedience is half-hearted.

Nothing about loving God would be dull or boring or mechanical or half-hearted or legalistic if it flowed from a heart that loved Him - really loved Him. So do I love Him?

Father, thank You for loving me when I don't love You like I should - really love You. Forgive me for all of my betrayal kisses. Help me love you well. I want to fall head over heels in love with Jesus all over again. Thank You. Amen.

Bucket List

I have heart problems. Sometimes that gets me thinking about death - or about life, really. Here is my Bucket List (not ordered).

1. Love God well.

2. Be married and have a family.

3. Be a woman of noble character.

4. Live with conviction, passion, and purpose.

5. Be a best friend; have a best friend.

6. Impact a million high school girls.

7. Make God the only occupier of my heart so good things from Him are the only things that can come out of me, and people get a glimpse of Him when they see me.

8. Learn how to dance. (And do so in a field in a warm, summer rain.)

9. Be different - - look more like Christ than the world.

10. Own a house, and make it a place of community where anyone is welcome.

11. Learn how to cook well (I'll need it for #10).

12. Write a book. Don't know what it will be yet, but with all the journaling I do, I think writing a book is only appropriate.

13. Visit India. India has been on my heart since I was a little child. I would like to go there and meet it's people.

14. Own and train a horse start to finish.

15. Grow a red rose bush.

To the man to whom I'll walk down the aisle and join at the altar . . .

I'm praying for you. I pray that you stay strong, that you hold out, that you don't settle. I pray that God guards your heart and delivers you from every evil. I pray that He raises you up to be a leader for me and for our household one day.

I pray that God raises me up to be a wife of noble character for you, that I would only honor your name.

I pray that you are full of passion and vision as you obey God and follow His call. I pray that you cling to Him, and fix your eyes on our Savior, that nothing comes before Him, and that He is truly your everything.

I pray that God blesses you today as you seek Him, that He speaks to your heart, and encourages your faith.

Be blessed, Beloved.

Going Jogging

I've planned to go jogging multiple times over the last month since the last time I went to the gym. It hasn't happened yet. Tomorrow morning a friend is going jogging with me bright and early before work, and tomorrow there won't be the option of hitting the snooze button on the alarm clock one more time, or an excuse of tiredness or better things to do. I will simply get up and go jogging. All the days I've thought about going to the gym or purposed to go, but let it fall through, and now one person to hold me accountable and encourage me and it's going to happen for real this time. I've been thinking lately about community. How important it is for me to have the church to encourage my faith, to spur me on, to hold me accountable, to push me further than I would have gone alone. No more only thinking about pursuing God; no more excuses of little time to serve; no more passionless moments in prayer. I'm a part of the Body of Christ. “. . . Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another – and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” (Hebrews 10:24-25)